What does taking 100% responsibility means? What does it look like and feel like?
First question you might have in mind is – “Why do I need it? What is in it for me?”.
You need it to change or transform your life forever. Not only your life but your near and dear ones’ lives also. In some cases, it might lead to social transformation also, but let us stick to the first two goals for the time being.
We all tend to take all the credit for our successes. But very few have the courage to take credit for their failures.
The softest target for blaming for the failures is the parents. For they love you. Even if you hurt them they may not hurt back or at least as bad as others can. An expert from a personality development seminar might claim that all your marital problems are due to the childhood traumas you experienced at home. And you might be inclined to believe it as this message is repeated too often by various personality development experts, without considering that your parents just completed their Golden Jubilee.
The next target is your teachers from the school, as they are the authority figures. We tend to believe in authority figures. They might have done a great job with you, but as per the personality development expert, they put a lot of garbage in your head – without considering the fact that he himself is a teacher.
Then there are usual targets like society, friends etc.
But if you want to be successful in your life – you need to stop believing in this garbage. You need to be rational. You should consider that your parent might have scolded you say 40 years ago, but what does that have to do with the problems you are experiencing in your married life? What does that have to do with your low performance and backlash at the office?
To be successful, you need to let go of the past. You need to stop blaming your parents, your teachers, school, society, economic status, your friends etc. And take complete responsibility for your current situation. If all the successes belong to you, then so do the problems.
This will free your mind from problem-oriented thinking and shift it towards solution-oriented thinking. You can now start thinking of the solutions to problems that you are having at the office, in family life or in personal finances etc.
You will feel more in control. You will feel that you can solve all your problems.
This will put you into an action-oriented mindset. You will be able to take action to improve your condition. And consistent actions lead to corresponding results.
To change your life, you need to change your thinking, which will change you feelings towards your situation and the solutions, which will lead to action. And the actions in turn lead to results.
